When you already have Children, they become a big consideration when you decide you want to get married.
Children quickly notice when they are excluded left out.
Forcing Youngsters to do things in public can leave deep emotional scars.
Second families pose special challenges when it comes to planning weddings. The Children require special consideration.
First, identify who the adults are and who the Kids are. Adults must act like adults, and Youngsters must be treated as Children. Adults are suppose to be emotionally mature, capable of self control, logical thought, and consideration of others. Kids are not yet mature, capable of controlling their world, have difficulty understanding adult things, and are mostly concerned about their own welfare.
To foster a positive healthy family environment, the adults need to sort out their own feelings, values, priorities, desires, and relationships apart from the Youngsters. Then once the adults have mature understanding of themselves, they are in a position to relate to the Children.
What do Children want? They want control of their own world. They want to feel loved, secure, protected, and accepted. They may not understand what they really want. Indeed, they may struggle to find peace with their changing world. One thing they do not want, however, is to be left out, ignored, or abandoned.
Prevent problems by building positive relationships with the Children. Help the Kids accept the new adults in their lives before wedding pressures develop.
If you plan to get married, remember your underlying purpose is to create a positive family where every member feels accepted and loved. No one wants a dysfunctional family.
Approach the wedding with caution. Build a solid foundation by establishing positive connection with each family member. This will foster positive family relationships.
This is where wedding vows involving Youngsters comes in.
Todd is an eight year old boy whose mother has been dating for several months and wants to get married. She and her gentleman friend are concerned about Todds response.
At a wedding planning session, it was suggested that Todd be included in the ceremony.
A few weeks passed and the couple arrived with their little boy. We sat down and discussed the relationships between Todd and the groom. Both expressed positive feelings and set the stage for positive developments. Then we discussed ways to involve Todd in the wedding. There were many options: ring bearer ( a little old), junior usher, or possibly Todd could actually participate in the wedding as a member of the new family.
It was decided, that the ceremony itself would be designed around affirming each relationship: bride to groom, mother to child, new father to child, and the whole family together. We began by looking at the traditional vows and pledges. Obviously, they are designed for the bride and groom to express their commitments to each other. They do a pretty good job too. In this case, we decided to add a special set of vows to express the additional roles of parent to child.
Here is the set of wedding vows involving Kids:
Bride: Because I love you, Todd, I ask that you accept Charles as my husband and your step father. I promise that I will always love, protect, and cherish you.
Groom: Todd, I have promised to love your mother, but I now pledge to love you as my son. I promise to provide for you, protect you, and encourage you to become everything you desire.
Todd: I love you Mom and I love you Charles. I know you love me and promise to honor you as my parents and love you as your son.
Celebrate love and family together with your Youngsters. It will go a long way toward launching your family. - 30224
Children quickly notice when they are excluded left out.
Forcing Youngsters to do things in public can leave deep emotional scars.
Second families pose special challenges when it comes to planning weddings. The Children require special consideration.
First, identify who the adults are and who the Kids are. Adults must act like adults, and Youngsters must be treated as Children. Adults are suppose to be emotionally mature, capable of self control, logical thought, and consideration of others. Kids are not yet mature, capable of controlling their world, have difficulty understanding adult things, and are mostly concerned about their own welfare.
To foster a positive healthy family environment, the adults need to sort out their own feelings, values, priorities, desires, and relationships apart from the Youngsters. Then once the adults have mature understanding of themselves, they are in a position to relate to the Children.
What do Children want? They want control of their own world. They want to feel loved, secure, protected, and accepted. They may not understand what they really want. Indeed, they may struggle to find peace with their changing world. One thing they do not want, however, is to be left out, ignored, or abandoned.
Prevent problems by building positive relationships with the Children. Help the Kids accept the new adults in their lives before wedding pressures develop.
If you plan to get married, remember your underlying purpose is to create a positive family where every member feels accepted and loved. No one wants a dysfunctional family.
Approach the wedding with caution. Build a solid foundation by establishing positive connection with each family member. This will foster positive family relationships.
This is where wedding vows involving Youngsters comes in.
Todd is an eight year old boy whose mother has been dating for several months and wants to get married. She and her gentleman friend are concerned about Todds response.
At a wedding planning session, it was suggested that Todd be included in the ceremony.
A few weeks passed and the couple arrived with their little boy. We sat down and discussed the relationships between Todd and the groom. Both expressed positive feelings and set the stage for positive developments. Then we discussed ways to involve Todd in the wedding. There were many options: ring bearer ( a little old), junior usher, or possibly Todd could actually participate in the wedding as a member of the new family.
It was decided, that the ceremony itself would be designed around affirming each relationship: bride to groom, mother to child, new father to child, and the whole family together. We began by looking at the traditional vows and pledges. Obviously, they are designed for the bride and groom to express their commitments to each other. They do a pretty good job too. In this case, we decided to add a special set of vows to express the additional roles of parent to child.
Here is the set of wedding vows involving Kids:
Bride: Because I love you, Todd, I ask that you accept Charles as my husband and your step father. I promise that I will always love, protect, and cherish you.
Groom: Todd, I have promised to love your mother, but I now pledge to love you as my son. I promise to provide for you, protect you, and encourage you to become everything you desire.
Todd: I love you Mom and I love you Charles. I know you love me and promise to honor you as my parents and love you as your son.
Celebrate love and family together with your Youngsters. It will go a long way toward launching your family. - 30224
About the Author:
Dr. David Trumble is a veteran wedding minister and author from Austin, Texas who supplies wedding supplies and wedding vows to couples nation wide. See his enewest ebook s and store including his newest ebook Wedding Vows Involving Children.
